Currently Listening Live in Paris By Diana Krall see related

i can feel it....the end is near....the end of 4th year that it.....

although this isn't my LAST year in university....(i'm coming back for a victory lap for those of you who don't know yet....)....it's slowly hitting me that all the friends i've spent 4 years with will all be leaving me....moving on with their lives....while i stay behind...alone....just for a chance to hopefully move forward in the direction i wanna go in life.....

i feel like i'm behind....losing a non-existant race.....i'm in NO hurry to start working or to grow up....but watching everyone move forward with their lives while i stand back.....staying back......it makes me sad....

in addition to this bummed feeling of staying behind....i'm still trying to manage my time to get everything done before the end of the school year.....i'm slowly getting there....but fuk....it sucks....

mood of the moment:  

god..i can't wait til the summer.....

not just the fact that we won't have school....but more so the WEATHER....who needs this pouring rain outside?! with rain drops the size of my FACE!!!

i want sun sun sun...and dry warm weather so i can wear all my summer clothes...and lovely summer sandals and shoes.....siiiiiiiiiiiigh.....on the beach tanning....lying outside in 30 degree temperatures.....GOD, I CAN'T WAIT!~  

look how happy i COULD be rite now!

but instead...i'm like THIS:

see the difference??

p.s....i hope you guys can see the pictures....i never post pics..cuz i don't know how...so i'm hoping this thing's working....and if it DOES work.....i've MASTERED the skill of posting pictures on xanga!! BUAHAHAH!....which only means 1 thing....MORE PICTURES WILL COME!!!!!  ....seriously though...is it THIS simple?!! i've been missing out!!!

let me clearify why i'm such a "lazy blogger".....

since i haven't been blogging often for a while now....i feel that my blogs go unnoticed anyways...so....why spend time writting to my ciber world friends who won't even read my life stories???? the longer i don't blog, the more likely my new potential blogs will go unread...it's a neverending cycle.....

as for RIGHT NOW....i'm sick.....coughing like a grandmother who's been smoking for 50 years....as all of you know...i ABSOLUTELY DO NOT smoke...so......it sounds pretty nasty when i do cough with my phlegmy throat.....yummy......phlegm....what a funny word....phlegm phlegm phlegm phlegm phlegm.... hehehe~

(i hope i spelt that rite....after writing it a gazillion times...how big of an ass would i be if it was spelt wrong....haha....wouldn't be surprised...i'm an idiot like that.....)

new year...new outlook on life......for a better me...

cheers all~

here i am...trying to find ANY MEANS possible to help me procrastinate......which brings me to xanga....writing an entry to update my life....which i haven't done in months.....

i've been putting in more effort into my school work than i've ever done in the past 3 years...combined....and what do i have to show for it??.....marks that i'm STILL dissatisfied with...... what's wrong with me?? am i just physically incapable of attaining marks i so desperately want?!? maybe university is too complex for my simple brain...professional school..i guess i can scratch THAT off my list....what the fuk am i gonna do with my life??...got my email reminding me to apply for graduation....wow....am i scared out of my mind.....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

boys?...i've reached that point again, where i'm totally turned off from attemping any kind of relations with them....so fed up with idiots i somehow manage to ALWAYS attract....do i have a sign on my forehead that reads "idiots welcome"??! ....for ONCE i'd like to be with someone who can intellectually stimulate me...make me feel like a kid.....can be as goofy as myself....is that too much to ask for?!?  

i know i know...enough with the complaining.....what else?....my family's great~  my brother's birthday is coming up this saturday.....the big 1-3....he's finally a teenager....sigh.....i miss my baby brother.....

spent the past weekend with my girlfriends from T.O....twas GRRRRRRRRREAT~ i didn't realize how miserable i was here in london....til i was back in toronto.....thank god for the few ppl i can actually spend time with here without wanting to rip off my head!...haha~

what else?..i think that's it....my life is quite the boring one....and will be as long as i remain a student......

shoot me now....